Community & Business
21 December, 2025
Christmas excitement or apprehension?
Christmas for many can be a difficult time for many people.
By Vianney McAllister, Inner Connection Counselling
Christmas for many can be a difficult time. Whether it is due to loss such as a loved one, job, divorce or separation, serious illness, reminder of an old pattern of living (e.g. Addiction) or issues around financial pressures.
Often the expectation that we should be joyous and ‘join in’ wholeheartedly can bring up intense emotions and stress, especially for those around us who are unable to understand our reactions. Remember that you are an individual and that your needs can be very similar to, or very different to others.
Within families or communities there are often set traditions and rituals that may be a comfort, or can be triggers and challenges that can be hard to navigate when feeling vulnerable. If the thought of Christmas is bringing up feelings of discomfort or dread, it is important to identify what these relate to specifically, and then work out ways that you can look after yourself in the different situations you identify. Being aware of sources of distress and having a plan to deal with how you may feel or what may happen, immediately makes you feel like you have more control in the situation.
Some tips to avoiding distress are:
Plan: Plan what you need to do/ negotiate to make it more you friendly. Plan your time so you are under less stress. Don’t overcommit. Have a plan if you need an escape.
Practice boundaries: Look after yourself, give yourself the space to see what is right for you at this time – Say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no. Work out what works for you then accept invitations balanced with enjoying/ needing solitude.
Respect your own reality: Realise what Christmas means for you – generosity, compassion, acceptance, self-protection, self-containment, or connection with others. Acknowledge the truth and honour what is right for you. By being aware of your own values, beliefs, needs and attitudes you will be more able to respect the same in others. Do something different. Do something special in memory of those who have died.
Communicate: Communicate with others as to how things are for you, and if you need to take it slowly or one day at a time. Phone, Skype, write. Share memories laugh and cry it’s all OK. Ask for help. Figure out what your supports are and call on them.
Honour the moment: Think of past Christmases, consider future Christmases then let those go and focus on being in the now of this Christmas.
This article is intended to provide general information only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. If you or someone you know is experiencing significant distress, contact your GP or a mental health professional. In an emergency, call 000. Lifeline 13 11 14.
